J .. FOR JOKES. HA HA!!!!

J .. FOR  JOKES. HA HA!!!!

by Dr. A.S.Nagpal

1. A lady was leading a donkey. A naughty boy quipped: "I salute you, O donkey mother," Old Woman: "May you live long, my dear son!"

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2.ln an election rally a leader was delivering a long speech and the audience was getting bored. People were hooting and clapping, but the speaker spoke on undaunted. At last a person from the crowd went up to the speaker and whispered something into the latter's ear, who immediately sat down, ending his speech abruptly.

Then the people asked that fellow:

"How could you stop that bore? What did  you whisper into his ear?"

' I just told him that though your speech is good, your pyjama is torn from the middle. That’s why people are hooting and clapping." 

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3. The policeman saw an old lady on the cycle moving ahead undaunted by the red-light. He whistled frantically but the old dame moved on. Ultimately the policeman had to come on mobike to stop her to say: "Why were you moving on despite my long whistles?"

"lt is not my age now, to listen to whistles!" 

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4. Catherine was yelling in the church after the chapel: Oh God! Please make Moscow the capital of China!'

The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"

Catherine:" That's what l've written in my answer sheet in the examination !" 

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5.A Bikini clad girl came to the pool and was about to jump in the pool. The swimming pool in-charge interrupted her,

"Sorry Miss! You can't swim here in your these two pieces of clothes!"

" Which of them you want removed ?", was her question.

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6. She was in a romantic mood: " How I wish, l were a book then you'd have kept me reading all the time!"

He was however not ready to oblige:"And how I wish you, to be my diary! l'd have changed every year!" *

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7.The business man was very worried and phoned up his family doctor:" please come here soon, Dr. Saheb! My child's down with fever."  Doctor replied on  "No need to panic. He's afflicted with flu. I had been to your place in the morning!"

Businessman: "Then what should we do?"

Doctor: "Then you should quickly take the medicine!"

Businessman: "But my wife had also kissed the boy in the morning itself."

doctor, sneezing very loudly on phone  itself, replied: "Then it's really a serious  problem."  *

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9.A lady asked her husbahd: "you know why Sitaji chose to accompany her husband to the forest over her staying in Ayodhya?”

Husband, “No.”

The Lady, “ Because staying in her husband’s absence would have meant coping with the three mothers-in-law and one father-in-law. Thus forest was a better preposition.”

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10. Once a policeman’s wife quietly removed a Rs. ten note  from  her husband’s pocket who after knowing about it blew with rage, “This amounts to committing a theft and I can even arrest you.”

The practical wife put a Rs. 5 note on her husbands hand and whispered, “Take this to suppress the case.”