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J .. FOR  JOKES. HA HA!!!!

by Dr. A.S.Nagpal

1. A lady was leading a donkey. A naughty boy quipped: "I salute you, O donkey mother," Old Woman: "May you live long, my dear son!"


2.ln an election rally a leader was delivering a long speech and the audience was getting bored. People were hooting and clapping, but the speaker spoke on undaunted. At last a person from the crowd went up to the speaker and whispered something into the latter's ear, who immediately sat down, ending his speech abruptly.
Then the people asked that fellow:
"How could you stop that bore? What did  you whisper into his ear?"
' I just told him that though your speech is good, your pyjama is torn from the middle. That’s why people are hooting and clapping." 


3. The policeman saw an old lady on the cycle moving ahead undaunted by the red-light. He whistled frantically but the old dame moved on. Ultimately the policeman had to come on mobike to stop her to say: "Why were you moving on despite my long whistles?"
"lt is not my age now, to listen to whistles!" 


4. Catherine was yelling in the church after the chapel: Oh God! Please make Moscow the capital of China!'
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Catherine:" That's what l've written in my answer sheet in the examination !" 


5.A Bikini clad girl came to the pool and was about to jump in the pool. The swimming pool in-charge interrupted her,
"Sorry Miss! You can't swim here in your these two pieces of clothes!"
" Which of them you want removed ?", was her question.


6. She was in a romantic mood: " How I wish, l were a book then you'd have kept me reading all the time!"
He was however not ready to oblige:"And how I wish you, to be my diary! l'd have changed every year!" *


7.The business man was very worried and phoned up his family doctor:" please come here soon, Dr. Saheb! My child's down with fever."  Doctor replied on  "No need to panic. He's afflicted with flu. I had been to your place in the morning!"
Businessman: "Then what should we do?"
Doctor: "Then you should quickly take the medicine!"
Businessman: "But my wife had also kissed the boy in the morning itself."
doctor, sneezing very loudly on phone  itself, replied: "Then it's really a serious  problem."  *


9.A lady asked her husbahd: "you know why Sitaji chose to accompany her husband to the forest over her staying in Ayodhya?”
Husband, “No.”
The Lady, “ Because staying in her husband’s absence would have meant coping with the three mothers-in-law and one father-in-law. Thus forest was a better preposition.”


10. Once a policeman’s wife quietly removed a Rs. ten note  from  her husband’s pocket who after knowing about it blew with rage, “This amounts to committing a theft and I can even arrest you.”
The practical wife put a Rs. 5 note on her husbands hand and whispered, “Take this to suppress the case.”
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