Jokes

Jokes 

By Dr.B.S.Yadav

 Here is a popular anecdote in rural Punjab about a prankful young boy. He was once  approached by a team of cops who enquired of him whether he knew some one in the village by the name of Gian Singh.
  The youth reacted instantly, "Yes lam Gian Singh"
  There upon the policeman took him right & left and gave him a sound thrashing. Then they left him with a  warning to mend his ways.
  Some onlooker who saw him being badly beaten up  neared him & picked him up. As the youth got up in pain he still managed force a smile & told the people around,
    "Look what a fool I made of them"
 "How" asked the bewildered crowd.
  "Simple. l am just not the Gian Singh they are looking for. I am Surjeet. "
  *****

A group of Gods from heavens decided to take a round of the universe and were relaxing after trip to human dwellings on earth, when Hanuman made a point.
  I was revered every where on earth but remark from a group of KG students really irritated me. They said, 'Hai Hanu'.
  *****

 Muslim:- Look, Hanuman was a Muslim. The name of our forefathers end with'maan' like Suleman, Rahmaan etc.
 A Hindu : That is wrong. He was a Hindu, a devote follower & worshiper of Lord Rama, world knows it.
 A Sikh : But going by his work & temperament he was out and out a Sikh. He never cut his hair, was totally selfless and was a great worrier in best of Sikh traditions. And that too fighting for some one else's cause.
*****

"See this Fridge-it is from Americas. My mixy is Chinese. These curtains-they are from Denmark. And now meet my sons Chintu & Raju.
 "Madam you must be pretty disappointed that they are not imported."
  *****

*  A foreign tourist paid a visit to a Sikh farmer working in fields when lunch arrived and out of customary veneration the guest was offered foods; a lump of saag on Maki ki roti.
 The visitor relished the 'saag' but returned Makki ki rofi with "Thanks-take  your plate."
  *****

Boy: lf you refuse to marry me, l'd commit suicide.
 Girl: We must get the arrangements' made.
 Boy: For marriage? Girl: No... for funeral.
  *****

 Ram: What about that coat you bought for your beloved?
 Ramesh: That did not fit her.
 Ram: Then did you get the coat changed?
 Ramesh: No, I changed my beloved.
  *****

Man: Please Madam, have mercy! l am very much hungry.
 Lady. So what, how can I help you?
 Man: (Humbly) Let's have dinner together. \
 *****

Child: Who is a groom?
 Father: The most decorated piece in a marriage.
   *****

One traveler to other: Shaving is a torturous experience one has to do again and again. How many times do you shave in a day?
 Second Traveller: I do so twenty times in a day.
 First Traveler: (amazingly) Twenty times!
 Second Travelled: Yes, I am a barber.
  *****

Lady: (displayed a tiny sheet of cloth) Just look at it, what condition it has come to, after one washing!
 Cloth Merchant: But I find nothing wrong with this hanky.
 Lady: Hanky? it was a bed sheet, when I bought from you.
  *****

 History Teacher: Subhash, tell me the cause of the fight between the French & English forces.
 Subhash: Sorry Sir, my mother told me not to get involved in other's fight.
  *****

  Lady: (While check up of a lady) Please call my husband also in.
 Doctor: Why? Don't you trust me?
 Lady: I do, but I can't trust, my husband. He might be sitting out with your nurse.
   *****

A man went to a Departmental Store and inquired of the price of a lot of item. At last,
 Salesman: (getting annoyed) What exactly are you searching for?
 The Man : An opportunity.
  *****

Truck Owner: How this tyre got punc- tured?
 Truck Driver: A glass bottle came under it.
 Owner: Couldn't you see the bottle?
 Driver: How could I have? lt was inside the coat of the man.
  *****

 Lady: (to fruit vendor) You charged from my son for two kilos of mangoes but when l weighed, I found them a kilo less.
 Fruit Vendor: Better, weigh your son also'
   *****

 Customer-Have you got a book called, 'Man the Master of Women'?
 Salesgirl-Fiction- Counter to the left, sir!
  *****

 Patient-l suffer from complete loss of memory. Your advise please?  Doctor-That you always pay me in advance.
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 Doctor-l prescribe your husband com-' plete, quite and silence. Here are some sleeping pills.
 Wife-When do I give them to him?
 Doctor-You don't give them to him. These are for you to take.
  *****

 What is difference between passing university examination and an entrance test ?
 Ans.-The former amounts to getting a passport and latter a visa.
  *****

 'My teacher must be very religious," said the little girl, "Every time I answer one of her questions she says, "My God."
   *****

 Q-Name something which becomes alive even after death?
 A-Telephone!
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